Calm It Down
by xiphoidwood
Summary: Tweek goes over to his friend Craig's house for some comfort but little does he know Craig has a crush on Tweek. Tweek feels the same and the yaoi begins.
1. Chapter 1

Ch 1

If I go the short way all the gnome refugees would jump me and take my clothing, or at least my underwear, but if I take the long route I'm out in the open where ninjas could take me away or some pedophile would grab me. It is too big a decision. I need Craig. Maybe if I run I could-

My train of thought was interrupted by a short spasm of the neck and an intake of breath resulting in a high pitched jittery "Gah". If I run I could get to his house and the pedophile wouldn't get me, no promises with the ninjas. The thought of a decision brought on a wave of convulsions and twitching with the occasional "Gah" or "Jesus Christ". I switched my weight from one foot to another, keeping my hands busy with the middle button of my shirt.

If I stand here I'll get taken for sure. That notion made up my paranoid mind and I sprinted off to Craig's. What if his family has been taken away and replaced by aliens? I made a mental note to ask and look for green skin and black soulless eyes.

It took three minutes and fifty-two seconds to get there. I counted in case I need an alibi if Craig had somehow died. I knocked on the door and it created muffled sounds since my mitten was on. I took I off and tried again. Spasms took control of my neck as I began to think of who would want to kill Craig.

The gnomes would want to kill him because he is my protector from them and he is the reason they don't get my underwear. Eric Cartman because he is an ass to ev-

The door opened and Craig stood there, an annoyed puzzled look on his face. He had peachy skin and very non alien eyes.

"Are you a-a, nngh, alien?" I said twitching and fumbling with the same button as before.

"No," his monotone voice stated. He went to close the door but I stepped my foot in the way with a jerky movement. "What do you want Tweek?" A flicker of a smile almost formed but was replaced with his trademark frown.

"My house isn't GAH safe. Ev-everyone is out to GG-get me. Jesus Christ!" another wave of convulsions and spasms moved my unwilling body.

"I'll make some coffee," he sighed, opening the door wider to let me through. I stamped the carpet as to destroy the chances of an invasion of whatever lived under there.

He twitched and jerked on my couch with the coffee in his hands. It was a surprise he never spills it, though it was dangerously close as it splashed about.

Ever since I first met Tweek Tweak I'd loved him. Of course I never said anything, because nobody, not even Tweek, wants a faggot for a friend. Sometimes when I'm alone in my bed I think about him, think of how it would feel with our bodies together caught up in the moment of lust. His ragged breath sending tingled down my spine.

"GAH- are you going to say something? Jesus Christ this is freaking me out. You, nngh, have you been internally abducted? Oh shit. Oh shit,"

"Calm down idiot. I was just thinking."

"Nngh, about what?"

A deep red blush came across my face "Nothing. Shut up. Wanna play video games in my room?"

"Okay" he said spazing on the couch. We both got up and I brushed my hand on his on accident. Oh shit. I got a hard on right at that moment. Tweek noticed and both our faces went red.

"Jesus Ch-Christ!" he handled his coffee and had a nasty bunch of spasms. "Oh shit. We're GAH f-fags. Jesus Christ!"

I took this moment to hold his hand and lead him back to the couch. The twitches subsided and he put down the mug. I bring my face close enough to feel that ragged breath.

"I can't handle this NNGH pressure!" he shook. Right then he lunged his face at mine and we kissed. Electricity sparked my whole body and my senses both heightened and dulled in the same second. We kissed again, then again. I boldly wrapped my arms around his jittery body and felt him calm down, a motionless peaceful feeling.

"Wow" we both breath in unison. I know what he meant.

He is my strength. Without him I would have been a casualty in whichever unknown war that may or may not be taking place in my closet. Without his body I would be filled with unintentional convulsions, but instead I sit here feeling his body against mine. His fingers glide over my bare skin as he drags my shirt over my head, exposing my torso. My muscles tighten as it comes in contact with warm hot air coming from Craig's mouth. He kisses my belly button. I can't help but release a small moan. His face slowly makes it's way to mine after kissing a trail up to it. Our lips touch and his open slightly. We explore the wondrous caves and ridges of each others insides and slowly he reaches down to my trousers. I blush uncontrollably and a small spasm makes it's way into my body.

My pants are now unbuttoned and are being slid off, along with my blue boxers. Craig is still fully clothed and I ponder whether I should partake in this act or let him do it on his own. Maybe he wants to be touched as well. My hands make there way to the hem of his shirt and I mimic the movements he used to take mine off.

A smirk from his face showed me I did the right thing and he caressed my arms as I do away with his pants.

At the moment I take them all the way off he tackles me, frightening me into a small panic. It quickly disappeared as I found out why he did it. We kissed some more and realise the position we were in. Both of us looked down and Craig had a perverted smile on his beautiful face. Let the fun begin.


	2. Chapter 2

Ch 2

Both of us collapsed on the bed. My breathing was shallow and I was way too self concerned about my heart rate to notice his. I could have a stroke right now. Worse yet, there could be worms inside of me making my heart pump this much and they're eating it away. My hand went to my chest and I could feel the pounding within.

"Tweek-AD-HD-kicks-ass- in-bed," Craig said between gasps for air.

"GAH! Why would you say that? Are you trying to take me apart to find it? Jesus Christ!" I yelped.

"What the fuck Tweek. I was saying that you're a great fucking top because you fuck so fast and long. You neurotic bastard," he said and kissed my forehead.

My heart immediately calmed down and everything in the world slowed. His touch felt so... I can't think of a word for this feeling. Like someone paused the TV then slow-moed it. It felt so nice.

He continued his kissing but they felt different. As if before he kissed me to get something out of me but now it's like he's kissing for the sake of kissing. A small twitch creeped up though and ruined the moment when my teeth smashed into his and a sickening crack came from my nose. Blood gushed down by the bucket load.

"Fuck Tweek, why'd you have to go and make yourself bleed to death." My heart beat nearly stopped as he said that (no pun intended). A huge wave of twitches and spasms coursed through my body and I sorta just freaked out. I knew worms were inside of me and they are now pushing my blood out because they saw the opportunity and took it.

Craig sighed, put on some boxers, and left the room. A spasm made my head jerk to my shoulder and splatter blood everywhere. Craig was gone, and now I was alone. My feet were on the floor and I felt like someone was underneath the bed. I threw myself onto the floor and checked the black oasis. I wasn't satisfied because I couldn't see anything so when I sat on the bed again I lifted my feet up as to protect myself against the shadows. Craig still wasn't back and blood was staining my skin, but I felt too awkward to go anywhere else. It was his house anyway.

Finally after the blood had almost dried he came back with a new shirt, a wet towel, and some paper towels.

"You got it on my fucking carpet, great."

"I'm nngh sorry," I said loudly, twitching about.

"I bet," he remarked sarcastically. After going on his hands and knees he scrubbed the carpet with the wet towel.

Minutes later the blood mostly came up, leaving a light brown tint on his white carpet, and he left the room again. I reached out for the paper towels but then decided to wait for him to give them to me for my nose, which was still bleeding over my chest, my hand not satisfying as a towel at all.

Craig came back again and gave me a brand new towel. It was warm and wet and felt so good on my nose. I tried mopping up the blood around my nose but it started to hurt badly. I gave up and just whipped the blood from my chest and anywhere else it splattered, like my arms.

"Next time, a warning would be nice," Craig complained.

"You're, nngh, not the one with blood spilling from your face. GAH"

"True. But it gives you a sense of macho-ness. I like it," he said, showing his nice side. That part of him doesn't come out very often and when it does it discuses itself as some stupid remark. I liked it though.

"I love you Tweek," he suddenly blurted out, making his mysterious physique transform to that of a small child. He looked innocent and breakable. Maybe it's not really him. Should I ask again about the aliens? Maybe there is something wrong with him after all. Is it my fault? Did I ruin his brain after hitting my head into his?

"Nngh, is there anything, nngh, wrong?" I said lamely. It was all I could think of. Craig blushed, something I had never seen him do before today. I didn't think of it before because I was embarrassed also but now this face looked so foreign. Small spasms controlled my hands so I sat on them. My neck jarred to the left.

"What? No." His face got even redder and he scowled at me. He looked so cute but I didn't know what to say. This was way too much pressure, am I suppose to respond? What should I say. He's looking at me. My face it hot, I need air. Do I really love him? Was this a one time thing? How should I react? Should I be staring back?

I couldn't think of anything to say so I ran out the door. My feet took me to his backyard where I sat in the snow, having only my underwear on. I vaguely wondered where Craig's parents were.

Now my legs are too cold. I stood up and paced. I shuddered and convulsed. Maybe I do love him. But I don't want to marry him. Can guys get married here? I wonder if the mayor likes gays. Do my parents like gays? What if my parents don't love me anymore. Will they try to kill me? If they do I should probably ask Craig if I could live here, which would make it easier to have sex more often. I'm not sure if I like sex though. I did all the work.

I heard footsteps but didn't look to see who it was. I was pretty sure it was Craig. What if it wasn't? That made me scared so I looked up anyway. It was, and he had a blanket. I was know very very very cold and wanted the blanket really badly.

I was confused. He came out here, with a blanket, but he looked so mad. Maybe he hated me too. I twitched and let out a soft "gah" then twitched again.

As if he read my mind he said "I don't hate you."

"Nngh, oh. I don't hate you either," my hands reaching for the blanket. He threw it to me.

"Do you love me back Tweek?" his voice was harsh.

"That, nngh, a lot of pressure man. Jesus Christ I need some coffee," I deflected.


	3. Chapter 3

Ch 3

They're gonna get me. Maybe not they're but he is. Craig will most likely come into my room and kill me. I should throw out any sharp objects and not keep a pillow around either. I guess the word _they're_ would be appropriate because he'd team up with the mutated fish residing in my toilet and they would kill me together. The pressure of it all.

I was so stressed I let out a loud scream and smaller unintentional **nngh**'s and **gah**'s. My whole world is over. God is out to get me. He will smite me for being gay and my dad will be so sad. Maybe he is also plotting to kill me and then he wouldn't be sad. I wriggled and writhed in my seat during class.

I should pay attention. I could feel Craig's eyes boring into my back. Maybe he had real laser vision because I swear it started to burn. I wanted to turn around but my body wouldn't let me. I just twitched in my chair. Every inch of my body was burning hot. I think I should go to the nurse. The room might have been spinning, or worse, running away from me going farther and farther so I couldn't do anything to stop it. I wouldn't have noticed either way, my mind was distracted by the lasers pointed to my back. I should have worn a thicker jacket.

We were learning math or social studies or something. I tried to concentrate but I really needed coffee. paused for a moment and asked for questions.

"Yes Craig?"

"Tweek Tweak is gay," I heard from two seats away. Sorta two seats, like diagonal one and back one. I let out a loud _nngh_ and turned around. Turned around so fast that I almost fall out of my seat. His middle finger was in front of his face towards me. I swear I could just cry. I pulled at my hair and my muscles tensed.

"Craig that is inappropriate behavior. Calm it down Tweek it's okay,"

I was really crying. People were laughing, and were laughing before also but I didn't notice. Well not _really_ crying. More like welling up, crying by my standards. It was at this moment that I wish God would smite me now.

I had forgotten to turn back around so I just sat there awkwardly twitching, my eyes red and teary. Craig still sported a stoic expression and that damn finger. I spazticly (if that's a word) turned around and saw the teacher rambling on about the science of sex change.

I couldn't take the pressure; this is ridiculous. "Nngh, fuck you Craig,"

Without looking at anything but the door, I left. I left and entered the world of torture. Before I felt the crashing feeling of hopeless terror (the feeling I get whenever I go somewhere alone) I felt pleasant. As if a weight had been lifted. Almost like someone took my heart and scrapped out all the heaviness, leaving a nice clean feeling. This lasted only a moment until I realized what I had done.

I was in the hallway and for the life of me didn't know where to go next. Without any ideas popping up and I just walked. My feet would soon take me towards the men's bathroom. Another scary place to be. You never knew what or who was inside those toilets. For all I know the fucking underpants gnomes could be there waiting for me. Why is there a silent _**g**_ in gnome? Did my teacher lie to me when I asked that? I actually don't remember being told how to spell gnome. How do I know how to spell gnome? Does everyone else spell in nom like it should be spelled? Am I a fool to spell it like that? Either way I will say gnome so that is how it will be spelled. I can't really think of any harm that could be dealt from misspelled words but there could be something so I really should figure it out.

Bathroom. Yes even though it is frightening I am safe from the open hallway. I was standing awkwardly by the sinks not knowing what to do next. Maybe I should go home. That involves a long and spacious walk that can easily go wrong if not done at the right time. It is safer in this not so safe bathroom. I feel like I am be redundant with my words. Then again, when scared so badly in the bathroom it is hard to be not so reiteratiful.

As I was spazing in this bathroom the door opened. I expected a teacher to come in and yell at me for running out. Oh, the pressure of it all. I forced myself to look at this teac-

"What the fuck Tweek," Craig pushed me to the wall. I expected a hard slap to the face, or a knee in the balls. Instead I got a deep messy kiss. I'm not complaining, but it was unplanned and I felt there was alterior motive.

"Nngh. W-why?" My head twitched to the right and spun back to face Craig.

"Why the fuck not you fucking bastard," I had no argument. He kept kissing and I kept letting him. He had a way of washing everything away that is happening when he kissed me, no matter how messy. If I was in a volcano with him kissing me, I might not even notice as we melted away to bones and dust.

So in a way, I did love him. I didn't know how to fit it in with all this kissing so it will wait 'til later. I wonder how he will react. Should I really be thinking while I have him on me smothering my face in the best way possible? I think not.

I felt like I should participate so I wrapped my arms around him and let his fall towards my waist. It was nice and I liked the way he touched me. I briefly wondered about class until I remember I shouldn't be thinking at all.

This act continued for a few more minutes until Craig broke our lip lock to breathe. That is when I said it. It took a while because I got very nervous, spur of the moment, and my hands got clammy and all jittery. I think he knew what I was going to say before I did because he me gave one of those rare looks. That look you don't see very often. Words can't describe and I'm not even going to try. If you have ever told someone that loves you that you love them you will know what's up.

"GAH. Pressure oh too much pressure. I-nngh-I think that maybe GAH I maybe nngh might um" a small pause creeps in where I fittle with my center button "I think nngh I might maybe erm l-l-lo-love GAH love nngh you,"

"Took you long enough," and we embraced with a kiss fit for a heart tugging chick flick.


End file.
